question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
where does the pee come out of this thing
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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