you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
