I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
