I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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