Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
