Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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