think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
