went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
