He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Bang-toberfest begins!!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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