..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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