Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
