8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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