East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
