you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
