So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
