I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
