How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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