she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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