is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I need to calm my uterus...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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