I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
