rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
