its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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