I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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