so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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