you win again, gameday.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
