I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize