Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
