I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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