I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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