It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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