An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
