think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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