Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
