How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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