Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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