he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
