i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
