I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
