Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
