lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
