my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
