a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
