OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
zippers are such a cool invention
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
