My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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