You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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