Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
