you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
