on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Shame - the story of my life.
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