we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
