i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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