i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
