You really coming over, don't trick.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
