apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
