I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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