I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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