He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
