so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
