i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
