Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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