you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
