Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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