I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
