JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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