mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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