i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
that's an acceptable place to lick
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
