I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
