The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
