3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Michael Bay diarrhea
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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