I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
