Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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