no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize