I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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