I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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