Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
