i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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