i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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