her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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