He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Panties = found
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