How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
