I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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